I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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