since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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