I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
