Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
