butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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