You smell like stripper and shame
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
