I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
