Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
