i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
