isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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