We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
