It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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