Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize