I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
