watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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