He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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