Me too!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
