I'm lost and stupid without you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Randomize
