I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
