some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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