he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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