you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
