why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
