4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
