Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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