did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
