I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
