I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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