we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
