Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
