Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
