Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
