? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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