so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
