I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
