If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
