Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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