never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
