Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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