Where is the hickey?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
