addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
