We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
