it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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