Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I could fuck to npr.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This toilet bowl is my home.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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