I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize