I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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