highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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