Don't make out with my wife yet
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
