my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
