Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
