get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
