I only kidnapped one of them. chill
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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