Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
