how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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