i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
