you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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