are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize