she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
