WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
