I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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