yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need to stop coming to work sober
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
