That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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