his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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