DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
