He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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