Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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