Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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